Digital Ninjutsu

3 Condoms Please

// August 30th, 2008 // 3 Comments » // Jokes

A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist “Hello,
could you give me condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I
think she is expecting something from me!”

The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going
out, he returns and tells him: “Give me another condom because my
girlfriend’s sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in
a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects
something from me too.”

The pharmacist gives him a second condom; and as the boy is leaving
he turns back and says: After all, give me one more condom because my
girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she
always makes allusions…and since she invited me for dinner, I think she
is expecting something from me!!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his
left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him. When the dad gets
there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying: “Dear Lord,bless this
dinner…thank you for all you give us…!!!”

A minute later the boy is still praying: “Thank you Lord for your
kindness…”

Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head
down.The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more
than the others. She gets close to the boy and tells him in his ear:

“I didn’t know you were so religious!!!”

The boy replies:”I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!!!

One Million Dollar Question

// August 28th, 2008 // No Comments » // Jokes

Interviewer to Millionaire: “To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Direct Translation Is Not A Good Idea

// August 26th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Jokes

Never translate IT terms to the Malay Language. Why Mahathir insist on using English for math and science. Because global uses the language as information’s and / or technology language at this moment.How danger it is if we’re trying to use in Bahasa, especially in school. See example below..

- hardware = barangkeras

- software = baranglembut

- joystick = batang gembira

- plug and play = cucuk dan main

- port = lubang

- server = pelayan

- client = pelanggan

ENGLISH:
That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either
hardware or software
joystick.The joystick goes into the port of the client.

TRANSLATION TO MALAY:
Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan
batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut.Batang gembira itu dimasukkan
ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

Expectations

// August 24th, 2008 // No Comments » // Jokes

1. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

Saint Peter’s Questions

// August 22nd, 2008 // 1 Comment » // Jokes

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul, he must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”

2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered…

1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer,even though it’s not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?”

The Singh replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc…”

Saint Peter lets him in without another word…